Joelle had her fourth baby exactly the way she
had wanted it to be. Her first two births in the Philippines were under
twilight sleep and she was unconscious for both of them. Her third birth
was an induction with no pain relieving drugs used. Joelle's amazing
journey included her decision to change doctors the day before she went
into labour.
Joelle wanted a "natural" birth where intervention
was used only when there was clear sign of a problem present. For
several weeks, Joelle's doctor had talked about the possibility of
"preventative" induction. When Joelle was 38 weeks pregnant,
her doctor told her that he was going to be on holiday the week
she was due. Joelle was shocked and disappointed and felt let down by
her doctor. She realized now that his style of
practice was to use routine medical intervention to prevent problems,
although she had discussed with him her desire to avoid routine
interventions, and her desire that she be able to count on him to attend
her birth. She felt uncertain how much of his urging her to have an
induction was due to his holiday plans. She
asked her doula to give her names of other doctors she might consult,
and with whom she might have a better "match" in terms of their approach
to birth.
June 29, 2002; Saturday. After what happened with my doctor, I was a
pretty desperate woman. It was wonderful to have your network
immediately refer me to another doctor. I immediately liked him (Paul),
and
switching hospitals and doctors is undoubtedly the best decision I made
for this pregnancy.
July 30, Sunday. I was so thankful Amy suggested we meet today. As with
Paul, Ross and I liked her immediately. She struck me as being very calm
and organized, the perfect counterpoint to the nervous wreck I expected
myself to be. [Joelle's regular doula had had to
be away for a few days for a family emergency, and Amy was Joelle's
back-up doula. Having back-up is crucial for doula support, since babies
don't wait!]
July 1, 2002. I had no idea that Gabriel would be born on this day. In
fact, on Sunday evening, I even made a bet with Ross that I would make
it to his boss' barbecue the next Saturday. But then again, all signs
were pointing to Gabriel's early arrival. I was nesting like crazy
throughout the previous week. Yesterday, I was craving and stuffing
myself with pasta – unconsciously carbo-loading for the hard work ahead.
I also kept falling asleep. In fact, I slept through most of the world
cup finals – unthinkable for me!
I went to the bathroom around 4:40 this morning. When I got back in bed,
I noticed that I was having strong although painless contractions, one
following the other. I counted about 4 or 5 then drifted back to sleep.
When another contraction woke me up at 5:30 I woke Ross up and asked him
to time them for me. We went through three or four more, each lasting
about 90 secs, 4 minutes apart. I decided to call Amy and let her know
what was going on.
At this point I felt quite nervous & anxious, wondering about how I was
going to deal with the pain. I was rather expecting to start out
labouring well then start screaming for anaesthesia when I hit
transition. I told Amy I wanted to go to the hospital early. She asked
me what I'd do if when I got there, I was told I was only 2 cms along. I
half-jokingly answered that I'd immediately ask for an epidural.
Seriously, I told her I knew things can get from 2 cms to 8cms very fast
so I wouldn't really be discouraged. I think I said this more to
reassure myself than because I really believed it. We decided we'd wait
for 15 minutes before deciding to leave.
In the meantime, I took a shower, fixed myself a sandwich and dashed
about packing last minute things for my hospital bag. My contractions
were coming on stronger and faster and lasting longer. I knew then that
this was for real. I told Ross that I wanted to leave but he didn't want
to! He wanted to time a few more contractions just to be absolutely
sure. He finally agreed when I told him in no uncertain terms that I had
gone through this three times before and I KNEW the time was NOW. We
left the house at 6:08 a.m. Once I knew this was for real, my
nervousness vanished and I felt that instinct was taking over.
En route to Thomson Medical, hardly 1 km from our house, I'm quite
positive a speed camera caught Ross speeding. But we'll worry about that
later. Amy met me at the hospital door. We got to the labour ward and
immediately went to labour room 6 at 6:22 a.m. while Ross parked the car.
At this point, I could still talk, walk and smile through contractions.
The nurse asked me to lie down for monitoring which I refused. I agreed
to be checked during a break from the contractions. Incredibly she told
us I was now 8 cms dilated! I was elated. I felt strong and confident.
The pains got harder and stronger so I leaned against the bed and swayed
my hips from side to side with each contraction. Remembering what I
learned from talking with you ladies, I concentrated on making low
"Whooooooooh" sounds when I felt the pain, rather than high pitched
sounds. Amy prepared a hot pack for my perineum and a hot rice sack for
my back. She also brought a birth ball but I declined to use it because
I felt it wouldn't get inflated in time. The tub was being filled but I
wasn't interested in using that either. Amy took some lotion and
massaged my lower back. Ross came in and Amy showed him how to massage
me & where to hold the hot packs. She also turned the room lights down
which made me feel sheltered & calm. I continued to talk to the people
in the room (just the nurse, Amy and Ross); I didn't feel withdrawn or
anti-social except when there were pains. I told them I reached the
point where I knew I would get the urge to bear down real soon. I
remember telling them I didn't think Paul would make it in time and if
so, then who'd deliver the baby? But just as we were talking, who should
walk in but Paul himself.
The urge to push came real strong now. I told them my arms were getting
tired from leaning on the bed. Next, my legs couldn't support me
anymore. Ross and Amy held up my legs throughout 1 contraction while a
mat was positioned under me. After the birth I felt sorry for petite Amy
having to bear half the weight of giant me. When that contraction ended,
I dropped on all fours while Amy positioned pillows for me to lean on. I
remember thinking, "this is only the second time that man (Paul) has
ever seen me and now there he is shining a flashlight down my bum!". Not
that it mattered to him or to me but focusing on trivial things like
that helped distract me from the pain.
All throughout, Ross continued to massage my back, which was incredibly
helpful. Paul told me to push when I felt the urge and it felt so good
to go along with my body. In between pushing, I asked them for updates
like whether the bag had broken or if they could see the head. Paul
always answered very positively like "not yet but it's trickling out
now" or "no but we should see it in another push or two". These kept me
going.. The pain of stretching was getting unbearable. After a couple of
pushes, I felt the water bag break with a whoosh which provided
temporary relief. But now the head was pushing out making it even more
painful! I remember wanting to yell "I want to be cut, I want to be cut"
(meaning I want an episiotomy). When I told them this after delivery,
Paul laughingly said "Oh but you did shout it out". I had no idea I did,
I thought it was all in my head. I let out two primal screams, and then
Gabriel's head was born. A pause, a push then his shoulders came out
until finally, our son was born! His father caught him and it was one of
the proudest moments of our lives!
For a while, we were all hushed and quiet, just taking in the moment.
Then I was helped onto the bed and Gabriel was passed to me. I held him
skin to skin while we waited for his cord to stop pulsing. Then Ross cut
the cord. He had his first meal shortly after.
Gabriel came gently and lovingly into this
world. I have never experienced a more fulfilling childbirth. Everything
was natural, peaceful and gentle - the birth I
had always dreamed of.
Coming into this pregnancy, I was highly sceptical of active birth. I
couldn't see how the pain relief and coping techniques suggested in the
class would help make labour easier. I thought that if I was in pain,
that was that. How wrong I was! Swaying, moaning, my labour and birth
positions were things I did instinctively. I felt that I really trusted
my body during my labour and that made it a lot easier for me to cope. I
never felt out of control or that I couldn't go on. I knew I could get
through it because I was surrounded by people who loved me and who were
there for me. I knew I learned to trust myself because of all the
education, support and encouragement I received from all you ladies. I
also thank God Amy was there to guide and assist Ross and me through the
labour with things like dim lights, massage & heat packs. It was great
that she was a go-between for us and the staff so Ross and I weren't
constantly badgered with questions. Most of all, I loved hearing her
soft, low voice, reassuring me, talking me through the worst part of
pushing. She was more than a doula. Right then, she was my angel!
Thank you so much for helping Ross, Gabriel and me have this most
wonderful and beautiful experience!
What's going on
here?
When her doctor suddenly announced he would be away
around the time Joelle's baby was due, after having several times raised
the issue of induction "to prevent problems," Joelle realized she
didn't feel comfortable with her doctor's manner and approach.
Her doctor may have felt he was offering proactive care, but for Joelle
this was not what she wanted, not what she felt was best for her and her
baby. She did not have a good "match" with her doctor's practices.
Through discussions with her doula (labour supporter), Joelle decided it
was important to her to take every step in her power to make her plans
for her birth a reality. She met with another doctor whose practice was
more in line with her own views, even though it was hard to change
doctors at such a late stage of pregnancy. In the end, Joelle felt
exhilarated from her birth because she had been so proactive in choosing
a doctor who was well matched for her needs, and had followed
through with her plans.
If you would like a helping hand in sorting out how to make your birth
plans a reality, no matter what kind of birth you want, a birth plan
consultation can help. You and your partner will meet with an
experienced birth supporter who can help you make sense of all the
options and clear away the confusion so you can find the path that's
right for you.
Click here for details.
If you would like to learn more about how a doula can make a
difference for your birth, as Joelle's did,
click here for details.
To talk over your particular needs or concerns, you can:
call Diann at +65
6536-4626
oremail us
