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Our
first son, Sam, had been born in Australia after a fairly long labour
under an obstetrician who favoured an "active management" approach. With
our second pregnancy, we chose Dr Paul Tseng at Thomson Medical Centre,
because we knew he was open to a greater range of birthing choices. We
also engaged Tania as our doula to help us navigate the medical system
in Singapore and to provide support during labour.
Physically, I was lucky to be fit and healthy throughout my pregnancy,
only suffering the "usual" complaints of nausea in the first trimester
and some back and pelvic pain in the third. I loved the fact that
Singapore's warm weather allowed me to swim every day and to get out and
about a lot with our toddler.
Mentally however, I found myself really dreading labour the closer I
came to my due date. I was particularly worried about having another
long labour and about the "medicalised" nature I had experienced with
Sam. I decided that this negativity was not going to help me and that I
needed to change my mind-set.
Tania
was able to provide some good books about positive thinking and
alternative birthing options. After doing my research, I prepared a
birth plan and explained my preferences to my carers. These included: Staying
at home for as long as possible before going to the hospital; no drugs,
but use of natural pain management techniques; being free to move around; and limiting the amount of medical
intervention during and after delivery. As
they say "Be careful what you wish for." I certainly got all that and
more!
When my due date came and went, I was
feeling increasingly uncomfortable and impatient: Would this baby ever
be born? My mum was due to arrive from Australia at the end of the week
and I wanted to have a baby to show her when she got
here. We tried all
the usual home remedies to bring on labour, but none seemed to have an
immediate effect. By the end of the week, I'd become fatalistic: I
decided there was no use fretting about being overdue - this baby would
be born when it was good and ready. By Friday (the day before I gave
birth), the general exhaustion that I'd felt over the last couple of
weeks seemed to fall away and I had a surge of energy: I swam some
laps, went for a long walk with Sam, had a last wonderful pre-natal
massage at home, and finished off some last minute nesting.
Early Saturday morning, I woke to calm
our toddler, who had another bad dream (these strangely started from
around my due date). When I got back to bed at about 5 a.m., I noticed
some early-period-like cramps. I tried not to get too excited, as I'd
been feeling these on and off for the last three weeks. I dozed for a
while, then meditated, trying to visualise my body opening and dilating,
hoping that today would be the big day.
By 7 a.m., the cramps had settled into
the more defined "rise and fall" of contractions. I woke my husband,
Matt, and asked him to strap on the TENS machine, as Tania had explained
how
it can be more effective if started in early labour. At this stage, my
contractions were uncomfortable but not that painful. Although they were
coming about every 5 minutes, this did not worry me, as I'd started
labour the same way with our first son and spent over 12 hours getting
to 1cm! I had a warm shower and was able to focus on my breathing
techniques and keep moving around.
Twenty minutes later, things really
had picked up and my contractions were becoming quite strong and
frequent. I called Tania at about 7.50 a.m. as I needed some
reassurance. To tell the truth, I was a bit embarrassed calling her
less than one hour after contractions had started (what a whimp!).
During the call, I had to rush to the bathroom feeling nauseous. Tania
called back to say she was on her way.
In the space of about 15 minutes, my
labour suddenly became very intense. I was quite vocal, so we sent our
toddler to the playground with our helper. Amazingly, this was at the
same time he usually went down to play, so there was no interruption to
his routine.
By this stage, I was alternately
sitting on the toilet or "waltzing" around the room holding my husband
for support. Whilst in my husband's arms, I had a particularly strong
contraction and felt my waters break - just as Tania was driving in the
gate and arguing with security about the purpose of her visit! Now I was
definitely in the "other world" of labour: My peripheral vision seemed
to have narrowed to the space immediately in front of me and my whole
focus had turned inward.
When she arrived, Tania made a quick
assessment and suggested that we may not make it to hospital, which
turned out to be a very good call! She phoned Dr Tseng, who was unable
to come to our house as he was in the labour ward with another client.
Instead, he arranged for an ambulance with a midwife.
When I heard this, I became very
panicked: How was I going to do this without a doctor? I felt myself
spiralling out of control. This was compounded by the fact I started to
feel the urge to push. The sensation of the baby descending was very
strange and new. I had not really experienced the pushing sensation with
our first born, as I was numb from the epidural. Tania was very
encouraging and supportive. In the back of my mind, I remembered the
reading I'd done about childbirth being a natural process, which women
all around the world managed every day without medical intervention.
So on with the job! I positioned
myself upright on my knees on our bed, facing my husband. Matt was a
tower of strength, holding and supporting me with gentle words of
encouragement. Tania was a great calming influence, getting us back in
control and reminding me to focus on delivering this baby. I distinctly
remember wondering when my endorphins were going to kick in and when I
was going to get my "rest and be thankful" stage - but things were
moving too quickly!
In what seemed like no time at all, I
was reaching down to guide out our baby's head. That truly was the one
of the most wonderful, powerful, and tender moments I've ever
experienced and one I will always remember. One push later, the baby's
body turned and slipped into my hands and our baby let out a hearty cry!
Our beautiful little boy was born shortly after 9 a.m., about two hours
after contractions started.
We had some recovery time cuddling our
little one in our bed before the ambulance with the midwife arrived. By
this time, the cord had stopped pulsating and I was ready to deliver the
placenta. The midwife clamped the cord, and Matt cut it. After getting
the okay from Dr Paul, we decided to stay put, rather than going to
hospital: After all, the hard work was over. Soon after, Sam returned
from the playground at his usual time to be met by his little brother.
I'm sure he thought we'd slipped out to the shops to pick him up! Tania
and Sandy gave us great practical help in the aftermath, assisting me
into the bath, helping clean up and getting some food into us.
After a quick check-up for me and the
baby at Dr Paul's surgery that afternoon, we returned home and my
husband rustled up a fabulous dinner of fresh oysters, sushi, gelati -
and of course, champagne! By the time desert was ready, my Mum arrived,
having left Australia that morning, to be surprised by her new
grandson!
Although a home birth had never been
on our agenda, there were so many things about it that we appreciated:
Being in control of our environment; not being couped up in a hospital;
being able to slot back into our routine with our toddler; and feeling
that popping out a baby was a very natural thing to do.
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