Lisette and
Jan wanted to have their second baby at home,
as is common practice in their home country. They planned carefully and
were well prepared. After several frustrating days when labour seemed to
start only to stop again, Lisette gave birth
to a second daughter at home as planned, after a short labour.
Click here to find out more about
having a baby at home in Singapore.
On 11 September 2003, two weeks before my due date, it's Mid Autumn
Festival. On our evening walk we see the neighborhood children outside
with their colorful lanterns and sparkles. The atmosphere is festive and
cheerful. I jokingly tell my husband that the long walk and the full
moon might make me go into labour that night.
During the night I wake up frequently from a bad backache and light
contractions. The next morning I'm a wreck, but our baby decided to stay
put and the contractions have stopped again. That morning I have my
weekly visit with my obstetrician, Dr. Paul Tseng. He agrees with my
suspicion that our baby will probably arrive soon, but it could actually
take another few nights of light contractions before real labour will
start. Baby and I are doing well, so everything looks fine for our
planned homebirth!
No contractions the next night, but when I struggle out of bed at 3 am
to go to the bathroom, I feel warm fluid gushing down my legs. My water
has broken! It's 13 September now, and hopefully the birthday of our
baby. After checking that the fluids are clear, I go back to bed, but
I'm too excited to sleep. Some mild contractions start after that, but
they are 15 minutes apart. Still, no real labour yet.
In the morning I call Sandy, my doula, to discuss how we could get
things moving. She suspects that I may only have a hindwater leak, and
that the membranes in front of the baby's head might still be intact
[hindwater leaks can often seem just like true breaking of the waters,
especially when they happen at night when the mother is lying down.
Hindwater leaks often repair themselves, however, and pregnancy can
continue for many more days before labour begins. If a mother is
concerned, however, she always has the option of checking in with her
doctor]. She tells me to eat and drink well, which I do, because I seem
to have a voracious appetite that day. Walking might help to intensify
the contractions, so I decide to do that. All during the day I walk,
rest, then walk again. At times I am hit by a stronger contraction, but
the overall pattern does not improve.
By 6 pm I'm tired and very frustrated. I dread having to labour all
through the next night and wonder when my contractions will finally get
more effective. Jan suggests going for another walk before dinner, so we
strap our one-and-a-half year old daughter Sophie
into her stroller and off we go. I'm really on a mission now! Right
outside our front door I feel a contraction coming up. Our neighborhood
is built on a hillside, and instinctively I start marching uphill. This
makes the contraction much stronger! I keep doing this for each
contraction and right away they start coming only 3 to 5 minutes apart.
We must have been quite a sight, a highly pregnant woman huffing and
puffing while she's walking very briskly, then suddenly stopping to moan
her way through a contraction ... followed at close distance by her
husband, pushing a stroller with a little girl who seems very much
amused by what her mommy is doing.
After a few rounds around the block I feel confident that the
contractions are here to stay. We go home so my husband and daughter can
have dinner. I keep pacing the room through the contractions. I'm
handling them well, but at the peak of the contraction I need to hold on
to Jan, and I can't help moaning and making lots of noise. I start
feeling a bit panicky as contractions are getting more intense, and
decide that I need my doula to be here with me.
My doula, Sandy, arrives just after 7 pm, while I'm trying to handle
another contraction. After she arrives the contractions seem milder for
a little while though. This makes me feel a bit awkward; maybe I called
her too soon and the contractions will stop again. [This is quite a
common thing: labour will often slow when a new person arrives in the
room, but will usually pick up again within half an hour or so.]
Meanwhile we have moved to the bedroom, I use my little break to prepare
my ‘nest'. I clear up the clutter, Jan dims the lights, and we light
some candles. The atmosphere is so calm and I'm amazed at how clear my
perception is between contractions. Soon enough the contractions hit me
again in full force. I keep pacing the room, and at the peak of
contractions I involuntarily make a lot of noise. Jan holds me and rubs
my lower back. Sandy sits quietly in a corner of the room; her presence
makes me feel confident and calm.
At this point my baby is so low, I feel a lot of pressure on my lower
spine. Sandy goes outside for a few minutes to call Tania, my backup
doula, who will also be present at the birth. The contractions are so
overwhelming. Jan helps me into the shower, the warm water feels good on
my back. It's getting hard to cope right now, I can't help making loud
noise and I'm hugging my husband tight, sometimes I start crying. By
now, Tania has also arrived, and she and Sandy are giving me wonderful
support. I start grunting and even pushing involuntarily at the peak of
contractions. Sandy suggests calling our doctor, Paul -- it might be
time for him to come over!
The warm water is running out, but I panic at the thought of having to
get out of the shower. My husband helps me dry off and we go into the
bedroom. Just then a strong contraction hits, I can't help but push
again at the peak and my forewaters explode! I am so surprised by this
that the contraction just stops at that very moment. My baby is now even
lower, the pressure is enormous.
Sandy asks where I would like to be, but I can't decide, maybe squatting
on the bed? But the bed is so high, I might not be able to get off when
I feel too uncomfortable. I decide to stand at the foot of the bed. Jan
is standing behind me, Sandy is sitting on the bed in front of me to
give me support.
The urge to push is so overwhelming now, it's the most intense force
I've ever felt. I hold on to the bed and to Sandy for dear life,
screaming in panic! I can't help but push as hard as I can, there's no
stopping it. I feel the baby's head hitting my pelvic bones, then at the
next moment her head is crowning. I hold my hand there, trying to regain
a bit of control. Everything is going so fast now. In a few more pushes
the baby's head is out, followed immediately by the shoulders. What an
exhilarating feeling! At 8:41 pm our second daughter Livia is born,
caught safely by her father!
Jan passes the baby to me, it's amazing to
hold this warm, living, breathing little creature. I hold her close and
talk to her. She is screaming and she's completely bright pink, there's
no molding on her head [moulding of the head, when the soft bones of the
baby's skull change shape slightly, is normal -- it is what helps a baby
fit easily through the mother's pelvis; with a fast labour like Lisette's,
however, there was no time for moulding to happen, and this is normal
too. Moulding disappears within a few hours after birth]. Obviously
Livia didn't suffer much from her fast and smooth entrance to this
world. I feel so elated and amazed by what I've just done.
Paul clamps the umbilical cord and lets Jan cut it. I need two stitches
since I tore slightly, unfortunately. After Paul leaves again, we all
sit down on the bed, admiring Livia who is happily feeding on my breast.
We have a toast of Champagne, what a way to spend your Saturday night!
Sophie comes in to meet her little sister. Soon we are left by
ourselves. The house is quiet again and we go to sleep, in our own bed
and with our newest family member in our midst.
I would like to thank my wonderful doulas Sandy and Tania, and of course
my husband, for helping me achieve the birth of my dreams. I feel so
grateful that I was able to give my daughter such a safe and peaceful
start in life, so gentle and surrounded by loving people.... There is no
place like home!
What's going on
here?
Lisette and Jan chose to have their baby at home
because that was the setting where they felt safest and most
comfortable. What's the right place for you? Home? Hospital? Which
hospital? Each hospital is very different and has a different approach
to how they support new parents. At a birth plan consultation,
you have the chance to talk over your needs and priorities with a
professional birth supporter (doula) who can provide the insider
knowledge to help you choose what's right for your individual needs.
Click here for details on birth plan
consultations.
If you are interested in a homebirth,
click here to read about planning a
homebirth in Singapore, including how to decide it's right for you,
finding a doctor, making a birth plan, and preparing for the birth.
ParentLink offers special labour support packages for parents
having a baby at home. For more about labour support for homebirth,
click here.
If you'd like the run-down on hospitals in Singapore to start narrowing
down which one is right for you,
click here for details on Singapore
hospitals.
To talk over your particular needs or concerns, you can:
call Diann at +65
6536-4626
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